Size Matters

It could be argued that all episodes of Project Runway are about sizes, after all that's how they fit the clothes. Sorta, right? But last night's episode was the most about sizes in the show's illustrious 32 year history. The models this week had all dropped a number of sizes, and the contestants traded their medium Jack for their XXL shunned geigh, Chris. Yes! Due to a severe case of puff-face (no more medical jargon, I swear) poor, tennis pro-ish Jack decided to leave the show. It really was sad to see him go. He seemed to have a modicum of talent and appeared to have taken a liking to that wee monkey creature with the Fortress of Solitude atop his little head. But ah well. Things fall apart.

So, Chris was brought in and made something that Michael Kors could not stop calling "French hooker Shirley MacLaine French Shirley hooker MacLaine" or some such babble. He really is spinning off the planet, isn't he? The one straight guy whose name really doesn't matter should have been the winner for his (what I'm going to call) Basket Hat Dress 'n Leggings, but instead it went, perhaps in memorial to ol' Puffy, to the wee monkey creature's Contempo Casuals Look-of-the Week, which, interestingly enough, was worn by the evening's skinniest model. All told, the whole challenge swung wildly from meh, kinda easy to wah-wah-wee-wah, what the hell am I gonna do. Of course Chim-Chim had to get the skinny one. That the tiny little thing is now vindicated and assured in his talent can only mean good things for the show's drama level and only horrible things for my sanity.

Nothing much else happened on the show. Oh! Except that guy who is basically the quiet gay nerd from your high school literary magazine's staff was packed into Heidi's boxcar and sent off to the ovens. He deserved to go for his truncated choir uniform and also for his being annoying. So, so long, guy whose name I can't remember and I'm too lazy to look up. Good luck looking vaguely like a muppet.

Who knows, maybe you'll come back once Chris realizes he's come down with a nasty case of Puff-Everything.

Oop, I promised you no more medical terms!

Oh, also: Watch this.