Friday, December 7, 2007

I Am an American

Last night I had a drink with a friend from school who was in town for the day. She brought along her British friend that she'd done some theatre with in Edinburgh. The bulk of the conversation was basically me saying: "So, wait, how do people do _____ in the UK??" He was very nice about it and answered all my questions thoroughly. But I couldn't help but feel like a bit of a rube. Why is it that whenever I meet someone foreign (friends of friends, deli store workers, cab drivers) I feel the need to probe them about their strange customs and ways of dressing? Has my love of the Old Timey Times really gotten so bad that I feel the need to act like some seafaring explorer who has just stumbled upon Africa?

What I did eventually determine last night was that, as we all know, The Europe will not make you pay for health care. Being godless Communists has its benefits, I suppose. If anyone reading this would like to come to the New World, I'll happily take you on a tour, showing you where freedom was invented, and then I'll break your leg so you can get a taste of free market capitalism medicine. All I ask in return is that you explain to me what an American accent sounds like.

Now, go about your silly little foreign way. I have a steak to eat.


Lee said...

I have the opposite problem. Since I've lived in Spain for 18 years, on my visits home I have to explain why I do funny things (like, turn the lights off when I leave a room, ask "can we buy food on a Sunday?" "Do they take credit cards?" "How much is the Times now?")And show off my 1,89€ tranquilizers (30 of them!). Oh, and we have steaks, too. And great wine. But I still miss New York.

BTW you must have figured out by now that I'm a Gawkoid. My tag there is Biblical Female Name + Dyspepsia.

Fun stuff, Richard. If I could, I'd send you this for Chrismas.

Kristi said...

Wow, LolCait for Secretary of State.

Hez said...

I want to know what kind of potato side dish you had with your steak!

Cesare the Somnambulist said...

This nice person from G*wk*r and the V**c*m picket line draws and designs Dora the Explorer:

Just met her on a thread today--it's saucyunicorn. She's in the video. I do not know if she has been to England, but I have. I could recommend a nice wine bar if you go to visit.