Thursday, December 6, 2007

Things We Lost In The Mire

Tonight was one of entrances and exits. Oddly smooth, perfectly coiffed entrances by Nate Archibald into Blair Waldorf's precious snatch, and an untimely exit by Chris, our big, fat, geigh costume designer friend from Project Runway.

Both Runway and Gossip Girl were vaguely depressing and wrong tonight for vaguely the same reason. There are just not good choices being made.

Are there really debutante balls on the UES? I don't think so. Deb balls are something far too gauche and nouveau riche for the withered old sacks of bones that haunt the east 70's and 80's.* So the whole conceit of the episode just felt woefully off. Couple that with the sexy-pex preview for this decidedly unsexy, unpexy episode and Houston (pronounced Howston), we've got a problem. While Chuck's rejection promises some wonderful revenge schemes in the future, where the hell is this show really headed? The whole elderhip parents storyline is growing sillier and more useless by the day. Jenny has become whiny and insolent and so far removed from the books' Jenny character that it's just not worth drawing comparisons anymore. The Minorities both got lines tonight, but they were boring and only served as exposition. This show is in trouble. Delicious, ridiculously watchable trouble.

On to Bravo and their "talent breeds entertainment" reality phenom. Tonight's judges made a wildly inappropriate decision. Ricky, for all his loose-fitting, ugly, tacked-together garments, was the clear choice to go home. Also, he wears mesh hats. Mesh. Hats. Chris was fun and fat and really should have stayed. These producers seem to be making not only bad decisions based on talent, but also bad decisions based on entertainment value. Ricky's weeping and silliness will only carry us so far. Chris's pleasant queeniness would have been great for another several episodes. But I guess he was just too fat for TV. (Did I mention yet that he's overweight?) The team that won deserved to win and Michael Kors was reasonably tame, but are we really being asked to stomach such an erroneous decision? Mrs. Seal ought to flex a little of her exec-producer muscle and tell the powers that be that big, fat, gay guys are always better to watch than little sadsack shits wearing mesh hats. Yes, you read me right (again.) Mesh hats.

So, oh well, here we go. The circle game continues on. These two great shows continue to falter and we're all left stupified and sad. And we don't want that.

If we wanted that, we'd watch the news.

*CORRECTION: Apparently they do. But! Still! The thing was clearly filmed at that "We maik ur dreemz come tru!!" place in Brooklyn. So, still not "classy" or WASPy.


jolie said...

deb balls - yes, pet, for real!

lee said...

Actually, there are still deb balls in NY. They're hideous rituals that turn young fresh flesh into saggy lobed UES hags.


The undead always need a new crop of life to feed their corrupt souls. And somebody's got to keep the Waldorf in business and buy godawful ugly white evening gowns.

LolCait said...

@ jolie & @ lee

Thanks guys! Clearly, I don't research anything.

dorothymantooth said...

Hee! I so love the "We maik ur dreemz come tru!!" lady.

lee said...

needn't apologize for not knowing. It's pretty scary to think that they still exist, like when an odd case of polio crops up somewhere. You think you're living in a civilized world...

Sarah said...

the actress who played serena's grandma was in a play at my theatre a couple years ago. suffice it to say she's completely insane. she's also besties with blythemadecookies. of course.

Miss Lucy Joy said...

I wanted to slap grandma thru the teevee when she told Dan he'd always be using the wrong fork. The desert silverware would more than likely be served with the desert course itself. Nouveau riche.

Cesare_the_Somnambulist said...

You know, I like Serena's mom now. Is that so awful?