AOL Sums Up Human Experience In One Headline

Okay, so maybe it's just about the weather. But, still.

Fit To Be Yuletide

Rose and I decorated our living room last night for the holidays, little Santa hats on plants and picture frames, white lights around the doors. For a bit I felt very seasonal and cheery. But then that was gone this morning when I trudged down Fourth Avenue toward the subway, blasted by arctic winds, ruing the day someone decided to invent winter. In general I’d say that I’ve lost a bit of the “Christmas spirit” as the years have gone by. It’s probably just a fact of getting older and having more worries and anxieties gnawing away at my happiness. I just don’t have the time to stop and get swept up in this wonderful season. This is kind of a bummer. But! On the internet this morning there arose such a clatter that it could only mean one thing! Christmas, with all its goodwill towards men, love, and celebration, had come early this year. Yes, my small heart grew three sizes when I read the following sentiment:

GEEZ... BLACKS AND HISPANIC'S F*CKING LIKE RABBIT'S... WHERE'S THE SURPRISE...??

THE KIDS ARE JUST DOING THEIR BEST TO EMULATE THEIR PARENTS AND INCREASE THE NUMBER OF SINGLE PARENT HOUSEHOLDS...

Um, yeah. It came from commenter FshHnt 21 on an AOL.com story entitled First Rise in U.S. Teen Births Since '91. As I mentioned in an earlier post, I do read AOL often. Why I started, I’m not quite sure. But it’s comments like that that keep me coming back. Friends and coworkers have always been baffled when they see me trawling the site, looking for the most hideous thing possible. Generally I can only stomach about 15 minutes of it. I guess I just think that there’s some inherent value in exposing yourself to the worst kinds of argument and ideology. Know your enemy!, I suppose. So if you are ever in the mood to get nice ‘n angry, go to AOL and read the comments. They usually manage to turn an article about a loaf of bread into a debate on why gay people need to rape children to live.

Merry Christmas!

Never, Ever Diet

As those of you who know me or are close enough to smell me are aware, I basically eat two foods: cheese and potatoes. Be they fried, melted, mashed, or pumped into my veins with an IV, I just can’t get enough of them. Thank god they’re both really, really good for you. Now, cheese is usually cheese. Served just as is. But, there are many things to do with the potato! Which is why I found this list of mashed potato recipes so important and hungry-making.

Most importantly, there is something called the Mashed Potato Taco. It is likely a harbinger of the Rapture and I would very much like to eat it. So please make some and email one to me.

We're able to do that now, right?

Enjoy.

Top 11 Mashed Potato Recipes [AOL]

P.S. This post also brings up the deeper, darker, more urgent question of why I am constantly on AOL.com, but I’ll save that explanation for another post.